creative purging

hello world. class started today. i'm taking painting for the fourth semester in a row. i might just keep going. i really don't care about anything else at this point, any other art class i need to take to reach my degree. i know it's good to add variety to my skill set, and necessary. but i'm too fixed on painting to want to try anything else. i'm too fixed. i don't want to leave it. i want to keep it close. i'm afraid to let go of it. so i'm sticking with it.

in related news ( i feel like a news anchor when i say that), i went to the wadsworth atheneum in hartford yesterday. IT WAS AWESOME. i went specifically to see patti smith's exhibit of her polaroid photos. i just read her book which was amazing. and that's a whole story in itself. i basically knew almost nothing about patti smith. but there was this strange occurance that involved synchronicity and "coincidences" that aren't really coincidences and shite. this book started popping up in my life when it came out, as it would in many people's lives of course.  but for some reason it spoke to me. it wanted me to read it. or so it seemed. this lasted for months. finally the apex of it all occurred when i was in a used book store in new haven one day right before thanksgiving. i wanted to look for something in particular, but i couldn't think of what. i texted my friend jessie, "what's a good book?" immediately after i sent the text, i remembered the patti smith book, so i went to go look for it. wasn't there. (but this book the art spirit was there which was amazing.) jessie called back about an hour later, long after i had left the book store. she said, "DUDE." then proceeded to tell me that she was reading this book the whole day, thinking of me in particular the whole time because it reminded her of me. of course she says it's just kids by patti smith. so then i respond "DUDE!" and told her my end of the story.

aaaaaanyway, that was a tangent and a half. my point is that i have photos. photos of many things. and that reminds me of something else i wanted to say about my museum trip: THERE'S AN ALICE NEEL THERE. it's a "new acquisition" so it wasn't there before. in case you don't know, alice neel IS MY FAVORITE PAINTER. i've never seen any of her paintings in person. i stood in front of it for a good 15 minutes, moved near to tears. i felt such awe and joy that i wanted to take it off the wall and hug it. instead i hugged it with my eyes (HA!).

the alice neel painting. siiiiiiigh

this was in the "comments" section of the museum.  there was a table and chairs and some colored pencils and you could make a comment. i LOVED this one on the bottom that some kid named noemie did. so i tried to emulate it above. ever since, i've come to the realization that i want badly to draw like a child.

so i went home and this is what happened.